I know Im a Little Different

Im shorter than the average woman, I weigh more than the average woman, I have longer hair, smaller feet and a different kind of humor, I talk to my dogs and think that maybe one day, they might talk back to me. I am different than most, and I know this. I love this about me. I love not looking like every other girl that attends Texas Tech University. The problem with me being a little different is social interaction. Specifically the humor I find in akward situations. There is nothing I love more than ending a seemingly entertaining conversation with a "so you like to have sex with monkeys sometimes?" or "o yeah and then his dog died". It is these odd little quirks about my personality that I'd like to think make my friends love me. I think I noticed at an early age that I was different. I always would act a little different than everybody, make up songs and tasteless jokes, and I would always go beyond the point of cute, straight to annoying and then keep on truckin. This idea of individualism continued through junior high, highschool and straight into college.

My sophomore year of college my family took a trip over thanksgiving to San Francisco. My grandmother had died the previous January and we took the holiday as an opportunity to visit my uncle who lived in the area. Normally we would have seen him at my grandmothers house over thanksgiving but given the situation, that wasnt gonna happen. My parents invited my boyfriend, David, along for the fun of it. About five years earlier my dad took me and my siblings so this was just another trip for us but, David had never been to San Francisco and my mother hadnt been since she was a kid so we still got to do all the great touristy things that you can do there. We visited the Warf, ate chowder out of sour dough bowls, saw the Golden Gate Bridge, we went to Coit Tower, drove up HWY 1, rode on the street cars, saw the painted ladies, bought chocolate from Ghirardelli almost everyday we were there, we also visited the Pacicfic beach and ate lunch at a great resturant that looks over the ocean. We drank in San Francisco like we were alcoholics and it was the only thing that could ebb our craving. Probably the best thing we did while we were there was visit Muir Woods. It was so cool that day but not cold enough to need a heavey coat. I dont know if you have ever been to Muir Woods, but it is so serenly quiet there, the air is so pure and crisp and there is something about fresh air that just makes you feel alive. Standing around giant thousand year old trees really puts things in perspective. Im not entirely sure why I acted the way I did that day, maybe it was the fresh air, or too much oxygen in my brain, maybe it was the fact that I was around the five people I love most in my life, maybe it was the video camera my brother was carrying around, maybe it was the coffee I drank that morning, because I normally dont drink coffee. Im not sure what it was but for some reason I was so individual that day, and I wasnt just regular individual, I was Pam individual. I was hopping around the woods, making up songs, cracking jokes, laughing so loud because it was so quiet there and I felt that everyone needed to hear how much fun I was having. Then my brother busted out the video camera, Im a natural born performer, so of course I had to be on and I was so ON. The clean air must make it easier for you to think cause I was being witty and funny and energetic and it makes for great home video watching now. My parents decided cause I had so much energy that we would take an easy hike around the woods on one of the trails, so we got to hiking. I led the group part of the way and the rest of it I walked at the back so that everybody could hear the fun songs I was singing. My little sister got so annoyed with me that she begged my parents to make me shut up for at least 5 minutes. I took the challenge willingly and failed miserably. We left Muir Woods and I instantly feel asleep on our drive up Highway 1 but I had a spectacular time, being me, and loving the people I was with. We made our way back to the city that evening, ate dinner at some resturant, I dont remember which one, we walked through down town and went shopping. The end of the week came sooner than we had all hoped and by monday we were back to our usual routines. That week is one of the best weeks of my enitre life thus far. The pictures say it all. Every picture that was taken we were happy, we were all happy. I know that we all left part of our hearts in San Francisco, and we will go back one day to retrieve that piece but no matter how many times we go back those moments will never be created again. It truly was a moment of vanishing love. Im glad it happened but I know I will never have those exact feelings again.